Avoid Autocorrect Fails with a Pencil

Autocorrect FailAvoid Autocorrect Fails with a Pencil

You know this has happened to you: you’re composing a text message to someone you don’t talk to much. Maybe you’ve just met, inviting them to meet at the ice cream bar at noon. You tap each key very, very carefully with the very tip of your finger. You pause after each word to reread what you’ve written. When you’re finished, you read it over again. And again. So far, everything appears to be on the up-and-up. You take a deep breath, and hit send. Everything seems fine until you get their reply – “You’re doing WHAT with a babboon??” You panic and scroll up, reread what you sent, and to your horror you discover that an innocuous dessert invitation has been transformed into a sexually-suggestive non sequitur. You, my friend, have fallen victim to autocorrect.

What was intended to be a helpful and time-saving companion to spell check has become a nightmare for people all over the globe. At first, we all thought the trouble was limited to iPhones, but as poor Matt shows us, it can happen to anyone. Matt isn’t alone in his hunting/humping humiliation, however – as the following examples show, autocorrect has claimed many victims.

[Please note: items with a * beside them contain language that may not be appropriate for everyone]

All Kim wanted to do was share her love of Christmas music and spread some holiday cheer. Thanks to auto correct, she ended up looking cheesy.

It doesn’t matter if you’re texting your parents or your kids, you’re still at risk. This unfortunate texter was just trying to send a short statement, but ended up scaring their mother instead, and this dad went from bar hopper to cross dresser with the help of autocorrect.

Sometimes, autocorrect can give you and your friend circle new slang, like Rebecca’s text, but if you’re not careful, you could be like Wiley, and end up somewhere you really don’t want to be.

*Some people even become autocorrect detectives, making determinations about your texting habits – and possibly even your lifestyle.

Autocorrect loves to strike where food is involved. One thirsty texter ran afoul of autocorrect while trying to place a simple drink order. Another is getting a pretty weird meal thanks to autocorrect. And Auntie Kendal might want to change her order – I’m pretty sure eating gorillas is frowned upon, no matter how tasty they may be with queso.

There’s no doubt autocorrect can get you into trouble. You might even end up on trial for murder like  Lauren, M, and this unfortunate grandchild.

*Autocorrect is no dummy – it knows you’re going to try to call it out for its bad behavior… but it isn’t going to let you do that.

Fortunately, all of this confusion and embarrassment is easily avoidable if you use a pencil! Your pencil is your friend. It faithfully records your intended message without feeling the need to take creative liberties. It won’t sneak foul language into a note to your grandmother, or get you in hot water with the wife. So go pick up a pencil and tell us about your worst attack of autocorrect in the comments!

2 replies
  1. Michael
    Michael says:

    Had to tell a social security tribunal that the claimant worked variable SHIFT patterns. They got SHIRT patterns. It could have been worse.

    Reply

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